


Missing You, Together

by kittenmittens



Category: Venom (Movie 2018)
Genre: M/M, Male Lactation, Mpreg, Pregnant Sex, Reincarnation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-23
Updated: 2019-06-23
Packaged: 2019-08-06 06:05:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 17,243
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16382747
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kittenmittens/pseuds/kittenmittens
Summary: "He can be restored.”"Y-You can do that?" Eddie’s heart is about to slam straight out of his ribcage, he swears.“No. Butwecan.”





	1. Chapter 1

“You know, you could probably, like, try out. For the, uhh… Hm.” Pete shrugs. “Maybe not the Avengers, but some kinda… Avengers intern thing? That’s not what they _called_ it, but that’s basically what I was. Uh. I might still be that.”

“Yeah, well— _thanks_ , Pete.” Eddie tears into his sub, finishing most of… _all of it_ before he keeps talking. “Not sure they’re really gonna want a murdering…. Cannibalistic… half-alien freak of nature workin’ for ‘em.”

**< Of course they would. We would make an _invaluable_ asset. And if they say no, we’ll simply bite off their small extremities, one by one, until they change their minds.>**

“No! Ha! No. We’re, uhh… We’re not doin’ that.” Eddie coughs into his hand, kind of hunching away from Peter. “Thanks, Pete. Real nice offer and all, but… Y-Yeah, I wouldn’t, uhh—I wouldn’t hold my breath if I were you.”

“Hey, that’s fine! I mean, I get it. Avengers. They’re intimidating.” Pete hops up, swinging his arms back and forth like the antsy kid he is. “Plus, all the rules, always feelin’ like you have to live up to some superhero… expectations.” He laughs, then gets real glum looking, like the realization just hit him a little too late. “… It’s like having ten parents.”

**< How impractical. My species has a much more efficient means of reproduction, which completely eliminates the threat of overpopulation. You see, when the brood reaches a certain age—>**

“ _Shh, shhh, shh—_ can I just—can I just have a conversation? With my friend? For one minute, please? Thank— _Thank you.”_ Eddie shushes into his hand, then gives a twitchy sorta ‘sorry about that’ gesture in the Pete’s general direction. “Uhh, you too, Pete. Thank you. For the offer. And y’know, much as it sounds like… _exactly_ the kind of thing that I’d love very much to do, I’m gonna have to refuse. Just for now.”

“Oh.” Yeah, kid looks like Eddie just sucker punched him. He was expecting that, and it still stings a little. “You still gonna help me out while you’re in town, right?”

“Sure, kid. Sure.” Eddie frowns, looking over his shoulder as this massive shadow passes above them. “Speaking of which, what the _hell_ is that?”

“Y’know—“ Pete turns around, watching as the huge—hovercraft? Spaceship? Eddie’s not so sure, but that’s what it looks like—stops and starts lowering itself down a couple blocks away. “I have _no_ idea.” He beckons at Eddie, hopping backwards. “What do you say we go find out?”

Next thing he knows, Eddie’s getting swallowed up in Venom’s oily skin. Once they’re all put together, they leer down at Pete. **“We would love to.”**

*

 

_< Holy shit. Hoooly shit. Holy **shit—** > _

**“What a shame,”** growls Venom. **“And here, I thought he was one of the more durable fleshbags.”**

<SHUT THE FUCK UP.> Eddie feels like his brain is rolling around behind his eyes, and his stomach keeps heaving up against the bottom of his lungs. <I-I think I’m gonna be sick. Oh my _God. > _

**“I can sense your affection for him, Eddie. His demise is causing you extreme levels of grief and pain.”**

<Yeah, no _shit!_ P-Pete was like my kid brother! I’ve known ‘im since he was two, he can’t—he can’t be— > Eddie gags like his guts just turned inside out. <I’m gonna throw up.>

**“Unacceptable.”** Venom flings one of the guys they’re apparently still fighting halfway across the city block, then bashes the next one’s head against the concrete. **“Eddie. You need to concentrate. I cannot do this alone.”**

Eddie can’t even think—not enough to talk, anyway. He just screws his whole face up whenever he catches a glimpse of that scrawny body lying on the pavement. It’s like a million years have gone by when Venom starts snapping at him again.

**“EDDIE.”** He tears through the next wave of goons like he’s getting his second wind, and finally, they just stop coming. **“Why must I do _everything_ by myself?” ** Venom heaves a massive sigh; it’s so big that Eddie thinks like his body’s getting compressed underneath their second skin. **“Very well. If you’re going to be such a pathetic, sniveling _infant_ about it, I suppose we will have to revive him.” **

<Wait, what?> Eddie’s heart jumps. <What the hell do you mean _revive?_ He’s got two bullets through his chest, you can’t bring him back with fuckin’ CPR!>

**“Yes, Eddie. I am aware.”** They crouch down over Peter, and Eddie’s skin crawls a little when Venom sniffs a couple of times, like some kinda really fucked up dog. **“But he can be restored.”**

<Y-You can do that?> Eddie’s heart is about to slam straight out of his ribcage, he swears.

**“No. But _we_ can.” **They bend even closer to the body—no, _shit_ , it isn’t a body. It’s Pete. **“It will take a great toll on us, which would be quite… inconvenient.”**

<Inconvenient.> Eddie repeats it in a stupid daze.  <Inconvenient. Who gives a shit about inconvenient? _Jesus!_ What the hell are you waiting for? Do it already! DO IT.>

**“For you, Eddie?”** Eddie feels their jaw open as they bend even further, a thick rope of spit splattering down onto the pavement next to Peter’s head. **“Anything.”**

<Waitwaitwait—this isn’t gonna be some ‘Monkey’s Paw’ shit, right? He’s gonna be normal? Not some kinda zombie freak—>

Venom doesn’t answer.

<Venom?>

They lift Peter’s head into their jaw.

<… Shit.>  

 

*

 

“Sir? _Sir?”_

Eddie jerks up. “Nnnbluh. Whuh? What?” The whole room’s spinning—wait. Is this a room? This is… not a room. Squinting, he looks around, even though there’s this crick in his neck that’s killing him, and… He’s on a plane, lying across the tops of two rows of seats. Okay. Why the _fuck_ is he on a plane? 

“How did you get in the cargo hold?” The stewardess, who must’ve woke him up, just keeps shaking his shoulder.

“Mm?” Eddie squints at her, then bats her hand away. “Yup—Yeah, _Jesus_ , I hear you. ‘M up now, thanks. Thank you.” Wait. What’d she say?

“All right, buddy.” There’s an airport security guy now, shoving his way through the aisle, and the first thing he does is grab Eddie like a ragdoll and yank him onto his feet. “You’re comin’ with me.”

“Whuh—Why? What’d I—“ Eddie sputters as the guy starts shoving him along. “L-Listen, uhh, guy. Listen to me. For a second—I have _no idea_ how I got here, on this plane—“

“What a coincidence! Neither do we.” The asshole grabs Eddie’s wrists and _ohshit_. Shit, those are handcuffs. “There’s no record of you boarding this plane, and nobody remembers seeing you get on. We’re going straight to security—“

**< Not happening.> **

Eddie feels himself get pale. “Look, before you start flingin’ people through the wall, can we just—can I get my bearings for a second?”

Venom’s answer is to flip the poor schmuck over his back when he leans down to try and cuff Eddie.

“Okay. Cool. Glad we had this discussion.” Everybody stares at him in horror for a split second before the other two guards, who just stepped into the plane, book it towards him. Okay, so, his little buddy might have a point here.

**< _LITTLE BUDDY!? > _**Throwing his arms around his head, Eddie cringes when Venom blasts that thought _real loud_.   **< I thought that was what you called your _dick,_ Eddie.> **

“No! No, it’s not—” Jumping onto the back of a chair, Eddie leaps over the first guard’s head as Venom tentacle-slams the other against the wall on his way out. He makes it to the end of the runway before he’s doubled over, panting like his lungs are gonna collapse. “Wh-What the hell? _Why_ do I feel like I’m dyin’?”

**< Because of the spawn. Most of our energy is going towards keeping it alive.> **

“Yeahhh, okay. Sounds like a pl…” Eddie swallows the weird, sick feeling in the back of his throat. “Spawn? Why’d you—What’s that mean? Why’d you say spawn? Huh? What’s that, uhh, mean exactly?”

**< You’ve got to be kidding me. Did you forget already?> **

“Did I forget? Yeah! Yeah, you’re damn right, I forgot! Where the hell am I?” Raking a hand through his hair, Eddie fishes his phone out of his pocket. And it’s dead. Great. That’s a great sign. “How’d I get on that plane?” And how come Eddie can’t even remember the last thing he was doing before this? All he can get is his trip back to NYC, and—

“O-Oh shit.”

Pete.

That whole picture flashes into his mind again and Eddie hunches over, heaving a couple times and sending way too much bile spilling onto the asphalt.

**< You really need to move past that. It was almost two weeks ago.>  ** 

“ _Two weeks?”_ Eddie gives this real scratchy whisper, wiping his mouth on his sleeve and oh shit. Yeah. That smells like two weeks. “Wh-What happened? Where’s Pete? What about—Where the fuck are _we?”_

**< We?>**

Eddie blinks a couple times, then cranes his head back, looking out and trying to read the skyline. It doesn’t even take half a second for everything to click into place.

**< We are home.> **

*

“Just, just…” Eddie cups his head in his hands, tapping his foot all super-fast and manic. He’s back in his place, which doesn’t look a whole lot different, even though he’s been away for a goddamn month. He showered, put on his pajamas, old tee shirt, sat on his bed, but that’s not doing a whole lot to stop the fucking heart attack he’s currently having. “R-Run me through it one more time. I’m not—I’m not _gettin’ it._ It’s not… sinkin’ in right.”

**“I am beginning to lose patience, Eddie.”** Venom slithers across his shoulder, forming his hollow-backed skull thing so they can talk face to face. **“What is there to understand?”** He starts bobbing his weird snake head as he lists things off, and for some reason, that makes Eddie want to puke again. He’s wanted to puke a whole fucking lot since he woke up on that plane. **“Your little friend died, and you begged me to bring him back. So we did.”**

“H- _How_ ,” rasps Eddie. “How did we—?”

**“We devoured his entire body,”** says Venom. **“But we did not digest him. Instead, I altered some of your internal organs to house his components while we reconstitute his form within us.”** He wraps himself around Eddie’s neck like a scarf, or maybe a noose, as he keeps talking. **“This puts an immense strain on our bodies. For the first two weeks, we were extremely vulnerable. I could not afford to let anything endanger us in this state, so I put you…”** Venom pauses, like he’s thinking real deeply, then he grins. **“Well, I think you call it _autopilot.”_**

“A-And Pete, he’s just gonna…” Eddie mimes like that scene in alien, then gives Venom this helpless look. “And when he’s… _outta_ me, it’ll be just like… nothing ever happened?”

**“Of course not. I’m not a fucking miracle worker,”** Venom hisses. **“He will not be the same as he was. He will be… different. Very small and young. When humans are weak and useless like that, I believe you call them… _babies.”_**

Eddie wheezes. “ _Whuh?”_

**“Here’s what’s going to happen.”** The face slithers back into Eddie’s hand, and then new webs of inky slime spread out across his stomach, throbbing like veins. **< Your friend, who has been reduced to… _raw material_ —will grow quickly inside your new organ. We will sustain him within us while he is put back together. This will demand most of our energy. And Eddie? _> _** Eddie gulps. **< We will be _extremely_ hungry.> **He does his best not to start hyperventilating as Venom casually sinks under his skin. **< Also, don’t worry. He will not _burst_ out of us like a ripe melon. I am in the process of creating a… Hm. Oh, yes. A _pussy. >  _**

Eddie jumps a fucking foot in the air. “What the _fuck!?_ WHY?”

**< I assumed you’d rather not let him grow until you explode,> **Venom drawls.

“Shit! No, that’s _disgusting._ I don’t want a fucking—I don’t want one of those! Either. That’s… That’s not gonna work, that’s _seriously_ not… Not okay. With me.” Pawing at his face over and over like he’s in a fucking padded cell, Eddie’s gotta tell himself not to start rocking back and forth in a fetal position. “I just figured we’d—I mean, seems like the _obvious_ solution to this is, like… surgery? R-Right? Dan’s a surgeon, he’s not gonna rat on me, I don’t think. I could just go to him.”

**< You want to go to a hospital? Get carved up like a melon and then turned into a lab rat for the rest of your race to _fuck with?_ > **Eddie swears his feels something turning around in his gut, and he sure fucking hopes it’s just regular symbiote shit. **< Of course you don’t. Look on the bright side. When _Pete_ has grown enough to survive outside our body—assuming the strain hasn’t killed you—you will begin the incredibly painful process of expelling him. >**

“See, that is why I brought up the, uh, surgery idea, with the painkillers—why— _why_ do I feel like you already made up your mind about this?” Eddie pulls the covers up, whole arm shaking, and kinda cocoons himself inside. “I’m gonna— _I_ am gonna lie down. Lie down for a minute.”

**< One last thing.> **

Eddie clamps his hands over his face, muffling himself. “ _Please_ make it quick. Okay? Put it… gently, or something? I cannot handle this, I can _not_ handle this.”

**< Stop being a little bitch. You’re the one who asked for this.>**

“Ohhh my God. Spit it out, okay? Just tell me already. _Fuck.”_

**< Fine.> **Reaching out, Eddie shuts off the light, curling up with a shiver. **< Stay away from loud noises. If we separate, the strain of keeping your friend alive _will_ kill you.> **

Eddie stares out into the darkness.

**< Sweet dreams, Eddie.> **


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Little side note before we get started; a day or two ago, an anon on my tumblr, who saw me talking about the idea of mpreg!Eddie with a baby Peter, decided to send said idea, as a prompt, to another user with no context/mention where THEY got the idea. Anyway, long story short, GoddessofRoyalty has been super cool about me freaking out to her over the incident and even gave me a shout out on her fic! If you'd like to read their take on the idea, [here it is](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16394765/chapters/38376185). And, as always, thanks for reading. I can't tell you how much your support and comments mean to me/how much they inspire me to keep creating.

“Eddie, you don’t look so hot.”

Eddie doesn’t shy away when Annie reaches out her hand to feel at his forehead. “Well, uh, thank you for your concern. Really—real astute of you, honestly. I feel like shit.”

“You want me to run a couple tests?” Dan looks… concerned. Like, really concerned. Like he actually is worried about Eddie, and not just ‘cause he feels like he should be. Dan is a good guy, isn’t he? He actually gives a shit about people. No wonder Annie likes him so much. “Sure, there’s gonna be a lot of guesswork, but… I mean, that’s gotta be better than nothing.”

**< Absolutely not.> **

Eddie does this half-shrug, half just… hunching into himself a whole lot… more. “Ehh, you know, I am _good_ , actually. I think I’m good.”

“Eddie, there’s nothing wrong with wanting a diagnosis,” Annie says.

“Oh, uhh, see—I got one, actually.” Rocking back and forth on his stool, Eddie admits, “I know exactly… _exactly_ why I feel like shit.”

Annie and Dan look at each other like they really didn’t see that coming. “You do?”

“Yeah, ‘s this real… funny thing, actually. I’ll spare you the headache, so, uh—“ Just kinda comes spilling out, like he’s throwing up. And he’s, uh, he’s _real_ familiar with that these days. “Long story short, Venom got me pregnant.”

Annie goes all stiff, like some creep just blew on the back of her neck on the bus. “Excuse me?”

“Yep! No, you, uhh—you heard right. That’s the whole… situation.” He rocks back and forth on his stool, with both his hands jammed into his hoodie pocket. He’s not so sure if that makes the way his stomach’s gotten kinda puffy and swollen look… _less_ obvious, or if it’s just making him look fatter, but it definitely doesn’t make him feel so… exposed? He guesses? So that’s why he’s just gonna keep doing it. “So. _So_ , that’s where I am at. In my life, currently. H-How’re you?”

“Eddie, you can’t just—“ Annie gets up from her seat, moving her arm like she’s throwing an invisible Frisbee or something. “— _breeze_ past that. Are you serious? Are you being completely serious right now? You actually think you’re pregnant?”

“Ohh, I know! I know that… I am. Pretty sure!” Eddie nods dumbly, jolting when Venom pipes up again.

**< If you want to convince her, why not show off the way your stomach is becoming grotesquely distended? Isn’t that what you people call a ‘baby bump’?>**

“ _Jesus.”_ Yanking his hands out of his pockets, Eddie folds his arms over his chest and starts bouncing his knee. “No! No, no—not doin’ that. I don’t want anybody—least of all, my _fiancee—_ the woman I was… going to spend the rest of my life with…. Sh-She is not gonna see that! She’s not seein’ that.”

“How about…” Dan starts to talk slowly. “… you just come in for a check up. Nothing crazy—no MRIs, no X-Rays, just… Normal, standard practice stuff.”

Venom feels like he’s all knotted up under Eddie’s skin. **< Tell him to go fuck himself.>**

“ _No,_ Venom, I will not do that, because that is very rude, and Dan—Dan is our friend! Who has… offered this _very nice_ thing to us, that he can do for us, or me, _specifically_ , since this was not at all what I asked for, actually—“

**< NO. _HOSPITAL. > _**

Eddie winces so hard he almost falls off his stupid stool, and then he throws himself off the stool anyway, because fuck it. “You know what? _Yes_ , hospital. Thank you.” He goes over to Dan, shaking his hand rapidly. “Thank you, Dan. That sounds like a good… a really good plan.”

“Alright! Great.” Annie nods, holding up her chopsticks like they’re a weapon. “The way I see it, either you’re right about this, in which case… _wow_ , or Venom finally decided to eat part of your brain.”

 **< Mm. She has a point.> **Eddie swears, he can fucking _hear_ slurping noises in the back of his head. **< Human beings don’t require most of their brain tissue to function. Besides, it _has_ been over twenty minutes since we’ve eaten, and the brainstem is such a _delicacy._ >**

“Okay. Good to know. ‘Scuse me.” He pulls the little white carton thingy out of Annie’s hands, ignoring her ‘ _Hey!’_  as he dumps the entire thing down his throat.

 

*

 

“So, uh, I don’t wanna be questionin’ you—I don’t wanna be lookin’ a gift horse in the mouth, and all, with what happened…”

Venom sighs in the back of Eddie’s head. **< Why do I feel like this is going to annoy me?> **

Eddie shrugs, pawing through the boxes of cake mix and chocolate chips in what Mrs. Chen calls her ‘grocery aisle’. “I mean, it might. It might.” Y’know, part of him—it _really_ wants to pretend that he’s, like, gonna get home, and he’s gonna actually bake an entire cake like a normal person, instead of just cracking a few eggs into the powder, adding the whole thing of chocolate chips, and then drinking all that like a protein shake, but, uhh… Well, denial—denial is not healthy. “I was just—I was just gonna ask if you’re, um… sure.”

 **< Sure about what?> **Eddie winces when Venom jerks his hand back towards the shelf without any kind of warning. Eddie gets the hint, grabbing another bag of chocolate chips and dumping them into their shitty little arm-basket thing. **< I’d _love_ to re-open the debate about our monthly intake of kidneys, if that’s what you’re asking. >**

“Ha! ‘S funny. You’re funny.” Eddie starts scratching at his gut, frowning and tugging his shirt down when some lady standing a couple of feet away gives him a funny look. Yeah, well, excuse him for not having a whole new wardrobe for this bullshit. He fit—not _great_ anymore, but he could get his shirt on okay—just a couple of days ago. Now it’s kinda… He’s always gotta wrestle with it when it starts to ride up, and pull it back down to where it should be, over his stomach, which is really poking out there. Plus, it feels pretty heavy, and his chest’s… It’s getting, like… _girthy?_ There’s, um… It’s kinda flabby now. Man… booby. Eddie’s not a huge fan of that, he ain’t gonna lie about that. Anyway, he waits til that lady clears out before starting to talk again. “No, I just meant… I wanted to ask, are you… _positive_ it’s gonna be Pete? C-Cuz, y’know, human babies, they don’t grow this fast. That’s—That’s not normal.”

**< I’m not a fucking _moron_ , Eddie. One of the few ways we are unalike.> **

Eddie hisses through his teeth. “Ooh. Rough burn.”

 **< I’ve been monitoring the development of our special project closely—right down to the minute. Every sixty seconds, every day, I check on your precious little meatsack.> **Eddie furrows his brow, mouthing ‘meatsack’ to himself dumbly. **< And, yes, I can confirm it is at least 80% your friend.>**

“Wh-Whuh—?” Eddie stumbles, shuffling—hobbling, maybe? Eddie’s better in front of a computer, than he is thinking adjectives up in his head, on the spot—over to the next aisle and just dumping a whole row of sardines into the basket with one arm. “Eighty—eighty percent. Eighty percent? That’s—what the hell’s the rest of it? The, uhh, the twenty percent? What is that?”

Venom’s quiet for, like, a minute, then finally coos, **< Improvisation.> **

“Oh. Great. Nice.” Eddie scratches his cheek all twitchy and manic, like a druggie, finally dumping the box over on the counter in front of Mrs. Chen. “Y-Yeah. Just this, thanks.”

“Eddie, where the hell you been eating?” Mrs. Chen scopes him out. She’s got a real talent, always making this face at Eddie like each time he comes in her store, he somehow looks even shitter than the last time. “You got fat.”

 **< You know,> **Venom purrs, **< normally, I’d be so insulted I’d have taken off her head a split second ago. Maybe used it as some sort of… heavy, misbalanced, ungainly hacky-sack. A hacky-sack that would utterly defeat its own purpose.> **

“Okay?” Eddie squeaks, handing Mrs. Chen a wad of ones.

**< But I have to admire the tenacity of a woman who insults us, right to our faces, even after seeing us devour a man whole.> **

“Yep! She’s—you’re a real catch, Mrs. Chen.” Nodding, Eddie snatches his bag from her and starts backing away awkwardly.

“My nephew sells an exercise tape, you know!” Mrs. Chen calls after him. “I’ll have it in here, next time you stop by.”

 

*

 

“So. Eddie.” Dan walks in looking at his charts, or something—whatever he’s got on his clipboard. “I thought we’d do a quick blood test, possibly an ultrasound—I, uh, know your buddy’s stance on sound waves, so that’s in the maybe pile. Maybe a general exam…”  Eddie’s been waiting here for a while after Dan told him to come late, when the place would be empty—well, hospitals don’t really ever get _empty_ , Eddie knows, ‘specially not in a city, but it’s close to empty. Close as it’s gonna get. Dan had him come in and put one of those creepy, papery gown thingies on, and then Eddie just kinda sat on the exam table while Venom stayed weirdly quiet. But, uh, soon as Dan gets puts the clipboard down, he kinda look at Eddie’s stomach right away, and starts looking real freaked out. Eddie’s hoodie—the one he bought that’s way too big, for reasons that are, uhh, pretty obvious—it—it didn’t really cling. As much as, uh, the gown… thing. So now Dan can see that Eddie’s… done some growing. Lot of growing, in the last few days. Swallowing, the guy just stares for a second, saying in this real weak, whispery voice, “I-It’s been a _week._ How did you… ?”

**< Raw human flesh is an _excellent_ substitute for prenatal vitamins. >**

Eddie laughs kinda like he’s dying. “B-Been drinkin’ my milk! Y’know. V-Vitamins. That kinda stuff.”

“You, uh…” Dan just nods, still giving Eddie that bug-eyed look. Yeah, well, Eddie kept giving himself that same look, in the mirror, when he noticed his abs turned into a freaking spare tire overnight, so he gets it—he can relate to that! “You weren’t kidding.” Nodding, Dan walks over to the counter, pulling out a tourniquet thingy and a vial, and Eddie feels Venom… Well, Venom starts doing this itchy, nervous movement under his skin.

**< Let’s just cut to the chase and eat him.>**

Eddie sputters, shaking his head real fast. “ _Why?_ Wh-Where is that coming from? Why would we do that?”

 **< Because,> **Venom growls in his ‘you’re a fucking idiot’ tone, **< I don’t trust him, Eddie. What does he want with our blood?>**

“To test—it’s for the test… thing! To see if—“ Well, not if Venom’s lying, sure, but—

**< I am NOT lying. I would never do that to you, Eddie. I’ve worked very hard to build a bond of trust with you, so that I no longer have to forcibly manipulate your body to do what I want.>**

“Yeah, y-yeah. Asking politely. That’s cool, that’s better. I like that.” Eddie nods dumbly, shrugging at Dan when the guy gives him a look that tells Eddie what he’s thinking is something like—like—‘I am never gonna be used to you talking to yourself, like a crazy person, but I’m trying.’

“Okay. Here goes nothing.” Dan walks over and wraps the stretchy rubber thing around Eddie’s arm, wipes the spot with alcohol, then freezes before he tries to slide the needle in. “This is… Tell your friend you’re gonna feel a little prick.”

**< That’s what he said to Anne the last time they slept together.>**

Eddie grins and holds back a laugh, then hisses when the needle stings him. “H-He can, uhh… He can hear you. Right now. Pretty much everything we’re saying, he’s gonna be listening to. Just as a—Just a heads up.”

“Ohhhkay.” Dan swallows again, nodding. “Good… to… know.” He finishes up the blood drawing, pulling the thingy out and sticking a band aid on the little, bloody dot.

**< You’d better be certain he isn’t going to use our precious blood for anything sinister.>**

 “He— _He_ would not do that.” Eddie flashes Dan a shaky grin. “Pretty sure he has nothing to… accomplish. From anything like that.” He’s a doctor, he’s got Annie, people like him—he’s pretty much living the perfect life, as far as Eddie’s concerned.

 **< You’re actually jealous of this sniveling sack of ground beef?> **Venom sounds real offended by that. **< He doesn’t even have a symbiote.> **

“Nooo, I know! I got that. ‘S just, it’d be kinda nice, not to feel like my organs were give out on me at any second.” He makes his voice go lower, since he’s getting kinda sick of Dan looking like he’s got no idea what the hell to do or say while Eddie’s having a full blown conversation with that little voice in his head. He’s gonna try and wrap this up. “And yeah, _yes_ , I know what you’re gonna say. ‘I asked for this.’ And you are one hundred percent right about that! ‘S just… It has not been fun!”

Dan waits for a few seconds, like he wants to be totally sure Eddie’s done before he talks. “So… Anything else bothering you?”

“Well, I got a, uhh… new… Thing.” Eddie purses his lips, feeling real dizzy.

“A thing?” repeats Dan.

“Y’know. D-Down there. A, uhh… thing. F-For the kid to…” Exit? Come out of? Leave his body with? Eddie can’t, like, get any of those words out so he just mimes it popping out from between his legs.

“A birth canal?” Dan guesses, looking just about as scandalized as Eddie did when he woke up and realized that Venom wasn’t bullshitting the whole ‘pussy’ idea.

“M-Maybe? I mean—yeah, that’s—probably. I think that’s it. Got the, uhh…” This real funny, raspy laugh comes out of his mouth as he tries to talk. “Th-The bottom… part… of it. At least.”

“A vagina.” Dan says it really slowly, as if he’s scared of saying it out loud in case he’s way off base. Well, that’s okay! That’s—Eddie gets that, because he does not want to hear Dan say it out loud, when talking about him, ever again.

**< Well, maybe if he called it something _reasonable_ , like a normal person.>**

Eddie hates that he knows exactly what Venom means by that. “No! He’s just… a gentleman. He’s not gonna call it that, _ever._ ” Tapping his foot real fast against the ledge on the exam table, Eddie coughs again. “Y-Yeah. That is… Yeah. That’s what I meant, Dan.”

“That’s… medically impossible.” It’s funny because, the way that Dan looks when he says that, he doesn’t seem all too offended or weirded out. He’s kinda … _fascinated?_ Interested, even if it’s maybe in a sort of grossed-out way?

 **< I told you!> **Ooohkay, Venom’s sounding pissed now. **< He’s no better than that filthy pest Riot merged with. All he wants is to use us for his own twisted experimentation—the blood he stole was just the first step.> **

Dan, obviously, has got no idea that Eddie’s listening to Venom’s rant, so he just keeps talking. “If you want, I could— _only_ if you want, first and foremost, but…” Shrugging, Dan starts looking a little twitchy, rubbing the back of his neck as he looks at his feet. “If you want, I can… _make sure_ that it’s working how it’s supposed to. I mean, yeah, been a while—this isn’t really my field, so I’m going off of stuff from when I was an intern, but… Y’know. Pretty sure you’re not gonna wanna call in a specialist.” Yeah, Eddie’s not too keen on becoming a government lab rat, or the next big thing in the tabloids. First time with that sucked plenty enough, but at least he got in there ‘cuz he was doing what he believed in, not ‘cuz he went against all known laws of anatomy and got himself knocked up.

 **< Think of it however you like, but I’d call it an accomplishment—particularly the part where you’ve made it this far without overtaxing your organs and dying.> **Eddie feels Venom’s rage fade a little; instead, there’s a funny tingle of excitement. **< You know, that gives me an idea…> **

Anyway, back on topic—back to what Eddie was thinking. When it comes to not dying, or catching anything else that might kill him, during this whole, uhh… _endeavor,_ Dan’s the best he’s got. And it’s not that he doesn’t trust Venom, or anything like that—more like he doesn’t trust Venom to know exactly what he’s talking about, or how humans are supposed to work—

**< Oh, stop stroking your dick. You fleshbags aren’t _that_ complex. > **

Point is, though—the _point_ he is trying to make is that he probably should… let Dan do this. Just in case, right?

“Y-Yeah. Why not?”

“Okay.” Dan nods like he’s on a mission, heading out the door. “Be right back.”

Takes him a couple minutes to make good on his promise, and by then, Eddie’s really worked himself up a whole lot. He leans back when Dan tells him to, trying not to bolt like a panicked animal when Dan helps him put his feet up in the—shit, are these what they call stirrups? And then he’s like—

Dan’s just feeling around, down there, in that area, which is weird as fuck, but Eddie’s… He’s not gonna pretend it’s all totally new, it ain’t like he didn’t touch that spot at all. Sure, he was freaking the fuck out about how it even existed when he was doing it, but it still happened! Then, of course, he got a little more curious than he did—he was more curious and feeling less like he might hurl, so he… So _this_ is not the first time that spot got touched. That means this part is not so bad. He can’t think too hard about how Dan’s the one doing it, but it’s not that bad. And then Dan’s—

“This might be kind of cold, and you’re gonna feel some pressure.”

Eddie hisses right away as Dan just… shoves whatever the _fuck_ that is right in there, and it’s so goddamn odd. Feels like his inside is halfway numb, for some reason, but there’s still all this pressure that actually _hurts_ , and Eddie’s just gotta suck it up while Dan takes a swab, or shines a light up there, or whatever the hell’s going on, and then finally he pulls it out and Eddie exhales way too loud.

“Sorry.” Dan gives his knee this sympathy pat, then jerks his hand away like he got how awkward that was one second too late. “Um.” He clears his throat, then folds the stirrups back down and Eddie scoots away and sits up as soon as he can. “Good news is, you should be good to go for the, uhh… The big event. But maybe we should save the ultrasound for… next time.” Eddie follows Dan’s eyes as they go down to look at Eddie’s hands, and he realizes they’re black, covered with Venom’s substance, and that they’ve also kinda clawed up the sides of the medical table without Eddie really noticing. That explains the face Dan’s making.

**< Tell him calling it off was a wise decision, especially for someone who isn’t in the mood to be bisected.> **

“I-I think that’s probably a real good idea,” Eddie says, sliding off the exam table and picking at the collar of his gown. “Thanks. A-Again.”

“Hey, uh…” Dan smiles, and it might be the most awkward thing Eddie’s seen in his life, but it’s, like—it’s nice. It’s a real smile. He really feels like Dan means it when he says, “Happy to help.”

 

*

 

**< I can get us off, you know.>**

“NO! No. ‘M…” Eddie lets out this really weird sigh—it kinda reminds him of, like, a horse whinny—as he starts arching his back stupidly. “I… I am… _g-good.”_ What the fuck!? Why’d he offer that? Do symbiotes—they don’t even get turned on, right? There’s no reproductive organs, or anything like that—

 **< Yes, your painful sexual frustration is a new experience for me.> **Eddie feels Venom slither out of his skin, projecting himself just near his ear as he growls. **“And it’s _really goddamn annoying_ , so if you’d just let me take care of it already—“**

Eddie shakes his head rapidly, burying his face in the pillow he’s been hugging. And kinda dry-humping, for… most of the night. His back hurts, super bad, and his stomach keeps bumping the mattress, and getting in the way of his knees, and also, he can’t, like… get around it? To grab his dick. He literally is too fat to grab his dick right now, and he’s not so sure about going the, uh… The other route.

**“That’s because you’re a pussy.”**

“Please, _please_ do not use that word? I-In this context, especially—“ Eddie breathes out, real loud and hot, into the pillow, wondering if maybe he can just suffocate himself and then he won’t have to literally die of horniness. See, this… This extra part, which he does not really want to call a vagina—guess he just did, though, so that’s… That happened. Never mind. It’s… That _thing_ is making him so turned on, all the time, or maybe it’s just the hormones. Or whatever Venom’s making his body produce to keep Pete alive, and stop his body from croaking under the strain. Either way, Eddie’s super horny, and he can’t get a hand on his dick, and he’s not… _super_ comfortable with any of the other options, so he’s just…

Y-Yeah. Back to square one. The square where he is currently humping his pillow.

**“Absolutely pathetic.”**

“Mmph. Yeah! Yep. ‘M fine with that.” When Eddie imagines—when he pictures it actually happening, as in, Venom doing something to take care of his problem here, it’s almost enough of a turn-off to solve it in a whole other way. Almost, though. Not quite.

 **“Would it make you feel better if I pandered to your miserable human ego?”** Venom pulls out a tendril, patting Eddie on the top of the head like a dog that’s about to get put to sleep. **“This is a perfectly normal… _side effect_ of human reproduction. Which you’re being an unbearable _weakling_ about.”**

“H-How about—when _you_ do this, instead of just—like, leeching off me, being a parasite—“

**“I AM _NOT_ A PARASITE.”**

“ _Ffffine, fine,_ whatever! Not a para—What I _mean_ is…” Eddie swallows, reaching again and straining as much as he can, his arm kinda… bending really uncomfortably against the side of his huge dome of a gut, fingers just kinda grazing the tip before he lets out a—yeah, pathetic, that’s pathetic— _squeak_ and falls over on his side. He feels like a tipped cow. “Wh-When you’re the one… h-having a baby, for real, and not just k-kinda doing the alien… empathy thingy, then— _then_ it’s cool if you complain.”

 **“Are you kidding?”** Venom sinks back inside him, and Eddie hears the condescension kinda _reverberate_ in the back of his head. **< I’ve had plenty of babies.>**

Eddie licks his lips stupidly, eyes bugging out. “Sorry, you—What’d you… just say?”

**< I have given birth _lots_ of times, but you never hear me bitching about it. > **

“You… “ Maybe his voice goes up a couple of octaves—Eddie’s not so sure. “Th-That right?”

**< I come from an intersex race of formless beings who live in the freezing vacuum of a far off star system. What the fuck else would we do to pass time?>**

“Mmm. You got—That’s a fair point.” He’s a little less horny to the point where he might lose his mind, since this bedtime story from Venom is _also_ a good mood killer, but there’s still this… lingering, he guesses. Like this fever or rash that’s gonna come back in just a short while.

**< So call him.>**

“Um—who? Who, exactly?” Eddie does not like that Venom said ‘him’. That should really be a her, right? A her—like, Annie? As in _Annie?_

 **< The fuck else?> **Eddie’s starting to think Venom ain’t lying about the sexual tension screwing with him, too. He sounds real impatient. **< The one person who knows what _we_ are and happens to have a dick. >**

Eddie wants to fixate on the dick part, honestly—like, why Venom thinks somebody else’s dick has to be part of the equation—but that’s not really what gets him stuck. Whispering, like he forgets he doesn’t even have to say it out loud, he asks, “ _Dan?”_

**< You call him, or I will.> **

“There’s no fucking way I’m—“ Venom makes his arm jerk towards the phone on the nightstand, and Eddie honest to god screams.

 **< Final warning.> **His thumb— _Venom_ moving his thumb—is typing out the passcode, and going to the contacts, and—calling. He’s calling now.

**< You going to talk? Or do you want me to?>**

Eddie grabs at the phone with his other arm, but Venom yanks it away. “He’s—not even—gonna— _answer!_ It’s one in the fuckin’ morning. J-Just put it down already! ‘M not gonna—“ Finally, he gets his hand around his other arm’s wrist, just as the ringing stops. Whatever noises are happening on the other end of the phone, they are not… Well, Dan’s not awake. Barely awake. But he answered.

Eddie swallows. Venom’s holding his arm still enough, he could probably just kinda… reach over. Hang up, and forget about it, and Dan’d go right back to bed—because who wouldn’t? Who would not do that, after being woken up and being super tired, and having a full… _doctor_ schedule tomorrow, like Dan? Eddie needs to let him sleep, and not pretend, even for a second, that he wants this, or that he’s actually gonna go through with it, i-if he _does…_

Then, of course, Dan has to actually talk. “Nngh… Eddie?”

Eddie needs to hang up. Now. Now, now, _nownownow—_

“H… H-Hi, Dan.”


	3. Chapter 3

“It’s a nice, uhh..” Dan swallows, and he looks… surprisingly awake—kinda wired, actually, which makes sense, since Eddie called him over here in the middle of the night, and all. He was probably sleeping—actually, definitely—he was definitely asleep, since he’s got his sweatpants on and his hair’s messier than Eddie has literally ever seen it. “I like your… apartment?”

The way he says ‘apartment’, it’s kinda like he’s not sure if Eddie’s place can be called that. Eddie gets it, honestly? This is less of an apartment, and more of a hole in the wall with a whole lot of mold and scum of the, uhh… literal and non-literal variety. Anyway, Eddie was super vague and awkward on the phone, which he now realizes was probably why Dan got here so fast. The guy most likely thought Eddie was dying and too freaked out to make any sense, and Dan’s, like, his only doctor, or the only one who knows about Eddie’s little buddy, so he’d probably be super guilty if Eddie just croaked out of nowhere. That’d look—even if Dan wouldn’t have any repercussions from not preventing Eddie’s death—er, completely… hypothetical death, that’d still be, like, a real bad mark on his confidence, probably.

“Thank you, Dan.” Eddie nods, just standing there, feeling like all the stupid things he’s been doing for the past half hour are just suffocating him, and now he’s got no clue what to say.

“So, you feeling okay? You look—“ It’s the second time Dan does it: just looks down at Eddie’s gut for a full second like he can’t believe how huge he is. And Eddie feels, like, this surge of annoyance, but only for a second, because he definitely understands where Dan is coming from. Venom said the whole process is slowing down now, for whatever terrible reason, but he went from what he can only guess is, like, five—six maybe?—months to being stuck at eight months for a while. “You look like you’re okay.”

It takes Eddie a minute to remember, but yeah. That’s… That’s right. He called Dan and sounded like he was about to keel over, which is why Dan is here. But Eddie is—Eddie’s _not_ about to keel over, from anything other than horniness, at least, so now he’s kind of not sure what to do. Problem is, the only thing that’s, like, more powerful than his horniness right now might actually be how badly he does not want to make out with Annie’s boyfriend. And the weird—the really _fucked up_ part of that is, when he says he doesn’t want to do it, he does _not_ mean the action, or the idea, or whatever—the making out isn’t what feels gross. It’s just the ‘this is Annie’s property’ part, that is all that’s stopping him, and _that_ is what’s scaring Eddie real bad at the moment.

**< Ugh.> **Venom snarls right up against the inside of his ear. **< I have to do everything myself.> **

Just like that, Venom’s making Eddie walk—or more of a waddle, his hips go real far to each side when he walks now—over to Dan like he _really_ means business. And the words, whatever words Eddie wants to say, they aren’t coming out too good. Either because Eddie’s so horrified by what’s going on that he can’t speak, or because Venom’s got some kinda boa constrictor grip on his vocal cords. Either way, he gets over to where Dan is, and Dan—ohh, poor Dan. Holy shit. He puts up with so much crap, so much weird, alien symbiote _bullshit_ —he and Annie both, really. And Annie—Annie is gonna hate Eddie so bad for this, but apparently, Eddie’s not stopping. He he just grabs Dan by his dumbstruck face and kisses him really hard. Kisses him… exactly the way that an alien who has no lips would kiss a human person, which is a big indicator that Eddie still doesn’t have one hundred percent control here, but he feels like he does by the end of it. And, of course, it’s at the worst possible time, as he pulls back from that thing that was not really a kiss.

“I…” Dan kinda looks like Eddie bashed his head in with a frying pan. “You, um…”

“I am sorry—I am… so, _so_ sorry. Th-That was not—that right there?” He does this stupid gesture where he touches his lips and then kinda points towards Dan’s mouth. “That was not my idea. That was Venom, that was—“ Eddie swallows real loud. “… _all him.”_

“No! No, it’s—!” Dan gulps, too, shaking his head dumbly. “It’s okay.”

“But, uhh…” Shrugging, Eddie kinda grabs…. His hands grab each other, and they start fiddling together as he admits, “Honestly, it was something I really… enjoyed, so—that’s a thing I’m realizing, right now. Not really sure why I’m saying this to you? Y-You should, um—we should forget that this happened. We can definitely do that.”

“Oh.” Lifting his arm, Dan coughs into his fist. “Wow.” He reaches out, like he’s gonna touch Eddie on the shoulder, then pulls his hand back. “I… kinda… thought it was nice, too.” Eddie just about has a heart attack when he hears that. Actually, maybe he does, and Venom just kinda fixes it before it gets too bad? “And… I guess now’s as good a time as any to tell you that Anne and I are…” He sighs, and looks real fucking crushed—yeah, been there, buddy. Eddie has… definitely been there. “She wanted to… take a break.”

“Oh… _man.”_ Eddie’s not gonna do something jackassy, like an excited little dance, or whatever, but he kinda is doing that, on the inside. Not because he’s that happy, either, because Dan is his friend, and Annie is his— _Annie_ , and he doesn’t want either of them to be bummed out, but the thing is, he’s still so horny he feels like he might die? And Dan’s basically waving a ‘go for it, maybe’ flag in front of his face.

**< Go on, then. I’m not kissing him twice.> **

That’s all the encouragement that Eddie needs. That’s kinda fucked up, right? Maybe. Maybe, but Eddie’s not too worried about that anymore. He just grabs Dan’s cheeks in his hands and kisses him again, less like an anglerfish might, then starts pulling the guy towards the couch. Next thing he knows, he’s thrown all the takeout boxes and greasy magazines off it, and shoved Dan _onto_ it, and he’s climbing onto Dan even though he’s kinda worried that he might crush the guy, since he’s, like, _super dense_ , at the moment—

**< … That gives me an idea.>  **

Eddie wants to tell Venom _not_ to actually crush Dan, but somehow, through whatever weird symbiote mood-ring-walkie-talkie thought… communication they do, he kinda senses Venom’s intent, and that ain’t it. He’s not gonna try to crush Dan. So Eddie gets a little bolder, leaning over as much as he can, his belly kinda squishing—or pressing, since it’s not all that squishy, honestly, it’s more of a firm—it’s like a firm dome? It’s weird, okay? It’s weird, the way it fits against Dan’s trim, very fit middle as he kisses the guy again. This time it’s extra deep, and before he can really get his finger on why, Dan starts feeling different under his fingertips. And then, when Eddie’s all hazy and struggling to sit up like a normal person with the weight of his stomach pulling him down like wet cement, he hears Venom talking from underneath him.

**“Well?”**

Eddie stares down, then feels his brain short-circuit a little. “Whoa. _Whoa, whoa—_ ohhh my God. Oh my God.”

Okay, so—so Dan is Venom now. Or, with Venom. Venom’s borrowing him, maybe? **“How do I look?”**

He’s like—scrawnier. Scrawnier than when Venom and Eddie are together, but also taller (or he would be, if they were standing, Eddie’s pretty sure, because right now their legs are hanging off the edge of the couch), and his face looks sleeker, too. Eddie just kinda admires him, for a minute, and then gets sorta blindsided by a whole bunch of things. “Wait, wait—is this—is this gonna kill him? Is the whole… the whole… strain of this gonna kill Dan?” Eddie does not want that! Why would Venom think Eddie wants that? And now that Venom’s _out_ of him… “What about—holy shit, what about Pete? I thought I needed you—“ To not have total organ failure? Eddie starts feeling real weird, and he’s not sure if that’s actually happening, or if he’s just getting super fucked up from picturing it happening.

**“Relax.”** Venom-Dan curls a huge hand against his back, stroking gently even though he has these giant machete-claws. **“I’ve been practicing a new trick. I divided myself—there’s just enough of me left inside you to support your little bundle of joy. And Dan—“** Venom-Dan… Okay, Eddie’s just gonna say Venom, for now, because Venom’s clearly the one in charge of this whole shit-show. **“Well. Your little hobo friend held out for seven days. I’d say Dan can survive for ten minutes.”**

“Okay! Yeah. F-Fair point.” Eddie swallows. “… Am I really doing this? Is this really gonna happen?” Eddie’s still so desperate for something— _anything_ —to take care of his hormone problem, he’s pretty sure he already knows the answer.

**“You tell me.”**

It’s kinda fucked up that this isn’t the first time he’s kissed Venom, but at least he knows what to expect. It’s a hell of a lot softer than he’d think; not as much bumping up against teeth and almost slicing his lips open as he would’ve thought. It’s… definitely messing with him, being way smaller than the person he’s making out with. And about to be… doing shit with. Different from how it was, getting intimate with Annie, by a long fucking shot, but Eddie—he doesn’t wanna be thinking of that right now! He doesn’t wanna be thinking of anything right now. Well, not anything that isn’t this. That isn’t… related to what’s happening between him, and Dan, and… Venom.

Venom starts pawing at him—at, like, his sides, and squeezing at him, and… Fuck. Man. His whole… inner-thigh area is… drenched. It’s sticky and gross-feeling, and Eddie so does not care anymore? That entire spot, the new spot, behind… behind his old, normal junk, is basically _throbbing_. He’s really freakin’ ready to go, apparently. The more Venom’s hands are pawing at him, the worse he’s breathing. (Real heavy, and like a horse that’s been working way too hard, and it’s totally not helping the ‘fat slob’ angle he thinks he has going now, but Dan—or Venom, whoever—doesn’t seem to care all that much.) “H-Hey, uhh… Dis—Just a disclaimer, I got… _no idea_ what I’m doin’ here.” There’s still a lot of dude anatomy here, and Eddie’s not used to juggling more than one set of… that. Best he can guess, it’s gonna be like when he was with Annie, kinda, but he’ll be Annie. Shit, even that’s not turning him off at this point!

**“First time for everything, Eddie.”** Venom sits up, dragging his teeth across Eddie’s neck, but real light, real gently. **“Mm. We think you taste… “** Venom drags his tongue—ahh, shit. Okay. Fuck. Venom just kinda licks him upside the head like a cat. Well, that’s, uhh… That’s probably sexy for symbiotes, maybe. **“Delicious.”**

“Ohhkay. Hm. Th-Thank you.” Eddie nods, starting to get dizzy. He is pretty glad Venom said we, in a weird way—cause, y’know,  that means Dan’s also willing to go along with this, and make out with Eddie even though he looks like a tipped cow. So, when Venom starts tugging Eddie’s shirt up over his head, Eddie lets him, trying not to breathe hard and too heavy. Thing is, he always feels like he’s suffocating lately, and getting all worked up probably ain’t gonna help too much.

Dan-Venom sits up a little and starts nipping and almost-kissing at his shoulder and… O-Oh shit. That’s nice. That’s really nice. Eddie really liked doing that, back when he was, uhh…  the one taking the lead on this kind of thing, so it’s good to know that it feels… _pleasant_ from the other end. Venom keeps doing that, with one hand on Eddie’s back to keep him propped up, before he moves his other hand and kinda starts… squishing and kneading Eddie’s chest around. Just the one side, just… one… Okay, boob. It’s kind of a boob. Eddie’s not so sure which is worse— thinking of his chest as being like lady boobs or man-boobs, but they definitely kinda look more like the—they’re more like the former.  And Eddie’s still very conflicted about having them, but when Venom’s messing around with him, and he feels the meat of his own chest basically fill up all of Venom’s palm (Shit, that’s a big palm. Does that mean he’s totally stacked?) there are all these jolts of this _perfect_ sensation shooting through him, straight to his dick, and his… other thing, and he _so_ does not care. He just cares that he’s so hard it hurts, and he’s not too proud to say no to resolving that, right at the moment.

Venom starts fumbling with Eddie’s pants and—oh, yeah. Yep. Just kinda ripped them right off—oh, and the boxers too. Those also. Okay. Venom cups his thighs, lifting him up a little, and Eddie looks down at… Shit. He’s not sure if that’s, like, all Venom, or part of Dan’s package is in there, too, but it’s… big. It’s intimidating. Eddie’s not totally sure he’s ready to take all that on—or, in?—but he psyches himself up a little anyway, slowly easing down. He does it real careful, choking and struggling the whole time. But Venom keeps doting on him, kneading at his chest and hip, sucking on his shoulder while he ghosts a thumb over Eddie’s nipple. It stops feeling like an even worse version of that stupid pelvic exam, and a lot more like it’s _exactly_ what Eddie’s been needing this whole time. He moans, low and stupid, gripping Venom’s shoulders so hard his knuckles go white, rolling his hips slowly, carefully, til he finds that perfect angle.

Venom chuckles. **“You’re like an animal in heat.”**

“That’s not… ss… super nice, but y’know. Wh-whatever. ‘S fine.” Eddie swallows, breath getting all shivery and shallow when Venom puts one massive hand on his belly, spreading his fingers out, like he’s holding Eddie right where he is, or maybe just getting possessive. Eddie bends forward again—and it’s hard, oh _man_ , is it hard, especially with his massive gut in the way, but he manages, and he kisses Venom, so deeply it feels like he’s going into some kinda trance. And then, as he does it, there’s this way-too familiar sensation of some oily thing sinking in under his skin and when Eddie pulls away, it’s just him and Dan again. He’s not sure if Venom wanted to give them some privacy, or maybe—maybe he just wanted to be with Eddie again? Or maybe Dan was close to dying—oh, _fuck_ , he’s still riding Dan as he’s thinking all this and getting really close to finishing—

“Th-That was so weird.” Dan looks like he’s about to pass out, or come, or both, possibly? “Oh my God. Holy shit, not—Not in a bad way! Not bad. That wasn’t bad. Eddie, y-you—“ Dan’s voice is really strained, and he’s groaning like he’s trying to hold back. Each time he pumps his hips, it’s like he’s fighting to drag it out a little longer. “You do that all the time? W-With Venom? Fuhh… _Fuck._ That’s amazing, you’re—you’re amazing.”

“Yuhh… _You_ … are a-amazing, too!” Eddie’s really falling down the rabbit hole here! He never even figured he was that into dudes, but here he is, literally sitting on some other guy’s dick, and he thinks, maybe, he isn’t processing it so good? Not that he cares all too much, at the moment. “You’re so— _ah!_ Fuck! You’re really good a-at this. This— _This_ f-feels… reahh— _hn!—_ r-really nice.” He just keeps rutting against Dan’s waist, trying to get kinda close to matching the rhythm the other guy’s using, even though it’s hard, because Eddie’s pretty enormous right now. And then Dan sits up some more, and he kisses Eddie’s chin, and his lips feel so, so soft, Eddie almost wants to cry. It’s so good. It’s all really good, even though Eddie feels like a freaking blob next to Dan, Dan’s apparently super into it, because he can’t stop touching Eddie’s… _everything_. Tits, thighs, ass, even his giant, alien-pod stomach.

He can feel Dan starting to finish, tensing up under him, all his muscles getting bunched and taut, and Eddie picks up the pace.  When he’s hunched over again, there’s a crick in his back, and his neck hurts from his head hanging down, too, but he’s just tuning all of that out. Grabbing Dan around his shoulders, Eddie just grinds himself lower, pushing Dan in deeper and working himself along til he’s starting to fall apart. He might be drooling (kind of a lot) as that last wave of feeling crashes over him. He spasms on top of Dan, thighs twitching and fingernails digging in til he finally starts to come down.

“Fuck. Eddie, that was…” Dan puts a hand on Eddie’s belly again, gawking up at him and holding still as Eddie struggles to lift himself off Dan’s lap. “Wow.”

Eddie squeezes wobbles over to the opposite end of the couch. “Yeah. ‘S… whugh.” That was not actually a word, obviously, and Eddie feels pretty braindead at the moment. But—It’s in a good way, though. Pete’s going completely nuts in there—in his stomach, his… _womb_ thing, whatever—and Dan can probably feel that, with his palm still sitting there, but when Eddie considers how he cool he was with everything else that just happened, he’s pretty sure Dan doesn’t mind.

 

*

 

**< You’ve been surprisingly adept at this, Eddie.>**

Eddie’s gotta be real quiet when he answers Venom—Dan passed out on the couch (and kind of on Eddie) half an hour ago, and Eddie doesn’t want to be that douchebag who wakes his… friend. His good friend, Dan. Who he’s slept with, and who keeps coming over. Anyway, Eddie’s not gonna wake him up because he’s so intent on talking to his alien parasite—

**< Call me a parasite ONE MORE TIME and I’ll castrate you.>**

“Whoooaaaa okay. No thank you. Sorry.” He swallows, looking down at Dan, who’s pretty dead to the world. Turns out he’s not so good at keeping up with Eddie’s schedule. Or, Eddie’s… non-existent schedule. He kinda stays up super late, and then gets up randomly at night (now, mostly to pee, but before he was knocked up, he’d just kinda wander around and eat cool whip straight out of the fridge). Annie used to say he was like a cat, but obviously, Dan just kinda sleeps when he can, and Eddie sleeps when he, like… _has to._ “What’re you, uhh, talkin’ about? Exactly?”

**< Gestating young. The fact that, even with my assistance, the process hasn’t killed you is… remarkable.> **Venom’s basically brimming with pride when he says that, and Eddie feels a sorta contact-high of emotions. He feels proud of himself, too, for not dying. He definitely had a whole lot of opportunities to. **< We should take advantage of your talent.> **

“I’m sorry?” Woof. Eddie’s stomach just dropped through the floor—something about the way Venom said that is… It doesn’t sound too good.

**< You should reproduce again. Think of it!> **No, no—Eddie will not be thinking of it, because this is already a terrible idea. **< An entire brood of perfect hosts to carry any of _my_ future spawn. I’d even let your little boy-toy serve as the sperm donor. > **

“Haaah! Ha. Oh my God.” Wheezing, Eddie slumps down against the couch, drumming his hand on his belly anxiously. “One’s—One’s plenty, actually. Thank you. And I’m mostly only doin’ this so my friend doesn’t, uhh—so he doesn’t stay dead. I don’t want a—a _brood_ , or a herd of… little symbiotes running around.”

**< Why the hell not?> **Venom’s shifting under his skin like a bad itch. He must be pretty pissed off—he was probably waiting a while to spring this on Eddie. **< Imagine it! An entire legion of obedient, powerful young who want nothing more than to serve us and do as we say. We could accomplish anything!>**

“Okay—Why not, you said? That what you asked?” Dan groans softly under him, so Eddie glances down and shuts up for a second before he keeps talking. “First off, I don’t wanna be constantly… like this? It’s not fun—It kinda sucks, is the thing. And then, uhh, kids aren’t… They’re not slaves. They don’t just do whatever you want, and they’re pretty useless for the first… I dunno? Twelve years? Then they can, uhh, they can babysit, I guess.”

**< At least give it a shot! My species’ young are fully-formed and ready to slaughter the minute they bud from their parent symbiote. They could fully bond with your offspring after several days, and compensate for their useless, infant flesh. > **Venom slithers out of his wrist, leering and looking super excited. **“After ‘Petey’ is out, we can begin a trial run. We’ll start with ten.”**

“Ten?” Wait, ten babies? “Ahah! Oh, no. Nah, that’s—Venom, that’s not even a normal thing that people do. It’s weird if they even have, like, _two_ babies at the same time.”

**“Preposterous!”** snarls Venom, and then totally ignores Eddie trying to shush him. **“I saw that woman on _Dr. Phil_ produce a litter of eight.” **

“Okay! That’s—That’s, uhh—That is an eye-opener, right there.” Eddie fumbles to find the remote, then hits the ‘off’ button. “No more TV for you.”

 

*

 

“So this is…” Dan gestures to the whole… hellish pile of garbage Eddie’s been putting together, just kinda watching, his eyes all huge and creeped out as Eddie puts all the knives he owns near the ‘entrance’. “What is this, exactly?”

**< There.> **Feels like Venom’s purring somewhere in the back of his head. **< Now, should any of our enemies approach our nest, their extremities will be mutilated and we shall drink their delicious foot-blood.>**

“Y-Y’know, that does not sound appetizing to me, actually! I don’t think I’ll be doin’ that.” It takes him a minute to remember that Dan just asked him something. “Oh, uh—It’s, um, j-just… somethin’ me and Venom are puttin’ together.”

“You… did all this while I was at work?” He sounds super weirded out, and yeah, Eddie can’t totally blame him there—he basically put his whole apartment into a giant fucking trash-heap in one afternoon.

**< Stop insulting our nest. By the time we are finished, it will be an ideal place for the spawn to be born.> **

Eddie’s not even getting into any of that right now; he’s just gonna talk to Dan and not his psychotic alien brain roommate. For the moment, at least. “Yeah, I'm, uh, real sorry 'bout this. See, I guess this feels like a real good idea to my, uhhh, my  _buddy_. And I'm kinda feelin' like it's a great idea, too, cuzza that.” He gets up and walk-waddles over to the kitchen to start rummaging through the drawers, looking for more sharp objects. Again, not really his idea, though: it’s mostly just Venom coaching him to move his body around and go looking for more things to add to the pile. The longer Eddie tried to ignore it, the more Venom kept pushing the issue, and, uhh, well? Here they are.

**< It is a _wonderful_ idea! We’ll test it out tonight. >**

Eddie shakes his head real fast, even as he picks up one of those stabby, mini-pitchfork things you use when you’re turning a huge chunk of meat around. “Nooope. I am not gonna sleep in that thing!”

**< We’ll see.>**

“Okay, that’s—that’s cool!” Dan clears his throat, setting down a bag of takeout on the counter. Holy shit—Eddie just realized that he’s fucking starving, and he kinda feels like he could kiss the guy. “I had a roommate in med-school who only ever slept in a hammock, in the living room, so that was… kinda weird. Not this weird.” There’s a real awkward pause, and then Eddie manages to wrestle his own muscles away from Venom so he can drop the prongs and start digging into the cashew chicken. “Uh… Speaking of roommates, I was thinking, um…”

Eddie looks up, staring at Dan dumbly with a mouthful of white rice. “Mm?”

“I’m back at my old place, since Anne and I—you know. And it’s been kinda rough, being there alone.” Wow. Eddie already knows what he’s gonna say (or he has a pretty good idea), and all he can think of is how nice Dan is, not to mention what a shithole Eddie’s place is. (The mold, the neighbors, the… _stress level._ Hell, the water’s definitely contaminated with something, and that’s probably not good for baby-Pete.) “So, I was wondering, if you… _want_ , would you maybe be interested in…” Dan picks up a takeout box, holding it like he wants to hide behind it. Fuck. Is that cute? That’s kinda cute, right? “Um. M-moving in with me?”

Screw it—it is definitely cute, actually, how he’s all stuttering and nervous, even though Dan’s been crashing here, like, every other night. Dan’s really normal, and he’s got his life more together than Eddie’s will ever be, realistically, and that’s just… _refreshing_. “… That sounds, uh—That sounds good! Yeah, Dan, I’d—I’d like that.”

“Really?” Dan’s whole face lights up and Eddie feels like he won the not-being-a-shit-head-lottery. “That’s great! Thanks.” Then he goes off on a whole tangent, about how he’s got a guest room if Eddie needs privacy, and he can help move stuff out of Eddie’s… pile, since he’s ‘incapacitated’, and Eddie half zones out.

“Yeah! Sounds good.” Doesn’t seem like there should be a whole lot to get excited about—Eddie eats enough for ten people, and there’s no way Venom’s not gonna leave some animal guts lying around for Dan to stumble on at some point. But Eddie’s not about to argue with the guy if he really wants to do this. Mostly, because Eddie would like to give it a shot, too.

**< Great. We’ll have to rebuild our nest.> **

Eddie has to talk real low so Dan doesn’t hear him, especially when the guy skirts around the kitchen counter to hug him. “ _Fuck no.”_  

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just one long snippet for this chapter. You guys have been so patient! We're in the home stretch now! :D

So, this is—this is not what they had planned. Dan wanted to plan this, he wanted to do his idea for the, uh, for the birth. And Eddie was fine with that! Eddie had no problems with that idea, since Dan is the doctor, and even if he’s not the baby-delivering type of doctor, he still knows a hell of a lot more than Eddie probably ever will about having babies. (Even _after_ Eddie has this probably-baby). And, yes, Eddie knows you can’t _really_ plan for this. Like—you _can_ plan, but only kind of. You only get a… a precautionary plan. A rough draft, or an outline. ‘Cause any number of things can go wrong in a whole, um, a whole myriad of ways. You can’t count on anything for sure, but Dan’s been telling Eddie they should at least shoot for doing this at the hospital, even though they can’t really guess _when_ it’s gonna happen. He was thinking it had to be soon, though. Venom kept telling him it was gonna be soon, plus Eddie’s has gotten kind of freakin’ enormous, and he… Okay, well, Dan called it ‘dropped’. His whole gut had ‘dropped’, and now he walks even worse than before because Pete is basically sitting right near the “exit”. The—The ‘ _that which Venom is no longer allowed to speak of’._

**< You’re so repulsively _delicate_ , Eddie.> **

Yeah. Ooh, that’s great! “J-Just the pep talk I was wanting, Venom. You are ssss… _so…_ super good at that.” See, anyway, that’s his point. His point right now is that the birth thing is sooner, rather than later.

It’s right now, and Dan is at work, and Eddie and Venom are alone. And Venom—y’know, Venom seems good! He’s calm. He’s pretty chill about it. But Eddie feels… _not_ good. Eddie is kind of losing his shit. But like he said, Venom is here, so at least he’s not alone for this. Even if Venom’s really sucking as a doula, or birth coach, or whatever it’s—whatever the fuck Eddie wants to call it.

**< This wouldn’t have been so difficult if you’d followed my instructions.>**

“Oh, mm? Th-That true?” Eddie turns over so that he’s on his back, even if he’s got no idea why he wanted to do that. It wasn’t a super good move, ‘cause now his belly’s sitting on all the rest of his (probably over-taxed) organs like a lead weight, pushing the air right out of him so he can barely breathe. But it feels good! Not… not _good_ , but better, just to move for once, even if it’s only a tiny, tiny bit. “Y-You thinkin’ of the part where yoooouu… _you_ ssssaid I should… c-coccoon myself i-in your goo like a nasty-ass seehhm… _symbiote…_ b-butterfly? Or the puh… part where… you wanted tuh… to go back to eatin’ human flesh ‘cause Dan could get us a little—some kinda… h-hospital morgue… doggy bag?”

**< It was a decent idea!> **Venom oozes out of the skin of his shoulder, kinda perching there like the world’s most evil, alien parrot. **“It’s not like anybody would miss those corpses. And then your precious little conscious could stay clean.”**

“I, uhh…” Eddie swallows, and realizes his throat’s turned into sandpaper. “I don’t wanna b-be talkin’ about this…. Ruuh… right now.”

Right as he’s saying that, he hears the door swing open, and—oh, shit! The door! The door. Not that Eddie’s hasn’t been enjoying his and Venom’s little private chat, their little heart-to-heart, and… loving disagreement on child-rearing, he’s so fucking glad Dan’s back.

“Eddie?” Dan calls out from the living room, and then Eddie hears him taking a few steps down the hall, going in the wrong direction—towards Eddie’s bedroom, which is kinda the no-longer-guest-bedroom—and then he turns around and figures it out, sticking his head through the door of his room. Eddie’s vision is, like… It’s not too good right now? Real hazy from pain, plus he’s sweating a whole lot, and that’s dripping into his eyes every couple of seconds. But he can see Dan’s face, and he can tell his expression seems kinda freaked out. “Whoa, buddy. You don’t look so hot.”

“I-I know you’re, uhh, speakin’ rhetorically, right now, but I… I feel very hot!” He’s never sweated this much in his life! As a matter of fact, Eddie is very sure right now that most of this is not even sweat, but instead, some alien spooge leaking through his skin like he’s a fat, gooey-ass slug. He is definitely not hydrated enough to sweat so hard, even though he is… pretty good at being sweaty, normally. Holy shit! Why did he think that? That’s so unsexy—

**“Right. Every person’s first priority during childbirth should be how fuckable they are.”**

Dan makes a wheezy, choking noise. “Childbir—you’re in _labor!?”_

Ohh, right, right. Venom’s talking out loud; Dan heard all that. “I mean…. Mmmaybe?” Shrugging weakly, Eddie tries to push himself up off the pillows, and then… does not actually manage do that. “Venom, uhh… th-thinks so—“

**“I know so.”**

“—but I didn’t really wanna start jumpin’ to conclusions so I figured I’d w… wait it out.” And not call Dan, and make him worry, until things got, y’know, worse. And worse, and worse…

“Okay!” That comes out of Dan sounding… _shouty_ , and then Dan looks kinda embarrassed, like he’s mad he let himself get that freaked out. Well, that’s cool! Eddie is a decent amount of freaked out right now, too.It’s just that he is in such _excruciating_ agony, that he’s way too tired and fucked up to get all, like, theatrical. “This is fine. This is okay! Really. We’re gonna… W-We had a plan. What was the plan?”

“I w-wanna say… hospital?” Thing is, though, Eddie’s not sure they went into all that much detail with it. Or maybe they did, but Eddie’s brain isn’t firing at full capacity here, so it’s taking everything he’s got just to move his mouth and make words. He does kinda remember that Dan said he could probably get ‘em in, and to a private room, and do it there. But Eddie was pretty sure that Dan might totally lose his job for that shit, and that makes him feel sick to his stomach, but also— _also,_ he does not want to move that much right now. Or at all. Not, um, anymore.

“Yeah. Right. ‘Course, of course.” Nodding super fast, Dan turns in a little circle, then kneels by the side of the bed. “Eddie, this is kind of important, and it’s gonna be weird—but no weirder than the pelvic exam, so—I mean—“ Licking his lips anxiously, Dan’s eyes dart down for a second before he looks back up, right at Eddie’s face. “I need to check to see how far along you are.”

“Thass… That’s fair. Yeah. Ooohhkay.” Eddie nods dumbly, starting to pry his sweats off and not even feeling with it enough to get all embarrassed when Dan takes charge and yanks ‘em off instead. He crouches down, sizing up Eddie’s… _bits_. The whole shebang. Eddie can only really see the top of Dan’s head, then the rest of him pops up looking very white and not too confident. Eddie just gives Dan a real bleary face, trying to ignore how the room behind the guy is missing whole chunks of his vision. That’s… _fine._ Probably not important anyway. “Iss… Is bad?”

Dan nods real fast. “Yep! I mean— _no_ , not bad, necessarily, but…” Feels like Dan’s quiet for so freaking long, and Eddie can tell how guilty Dan is when he tells him, “Eddie, I don’t think we’re gonna make it to the hospital.”

Eddie wheezes. “Whuh?”

It takes another second to focus his eyes and get them to work right, but as soon as they do, they lock onto Dan’s, and Dan just kinda blurts, “You’re crowning.”

Eddie lets out the worst, weirdest, nervous giggle type noise he’s ever made. For real? He let it get this far without even noticing? “A-Am I?”

“You’re good—You’re doing great! Doing great. Just, uhh—Um. It took me off guard, but everything looks okay. Just—hold on for a sec!” Dan just flat out leaves, for a little bit, and it probably only is a second or a minute or two, but it feels like a freakin’ eternity. Either way, though, he’s back in the end, with those nice surgical gloves on, and an armful of towels. Then he sorta kneels next to Eddie’s ass, putting one hand lightly on his knee. Like, super careful, like he’s so scared of hurting Eddie right now, and then he gives his knee this super gentle, sweet squeeze, saying ‘I’ve got you’, or whatever—

**“START PUSHING, DAMN IT!”** Venom shout-growls right in his ear and Eddie winces, struggling hard to get the noises Venom’s making to sound like actual words in his head. That’s how far gone he is right now; the pain’s basically putting him on a whole different level of existence, and he can’t think for shit at the moment. But Venom’s right. Eddie knows that, once his thoughts start picking up speed again. Panting hard—like, harder than he might’ve ever panted before, he’s not even sure he’s taking separate breaths right now—Eddie tries to bear down, clenching up all his muscles like he’s about to push out the world’s biggest sh… Ohh, ugh. No. Not gonna finish that sentence.

**“Don’t be so squeamish. They are remarkably similar actions for you carbon-based lifeforms.”** Ooh, boy. Oh boy, Venom. Always the charmer.

“I do _not_ … want to compare this… to… _taking a dump!_ ” Eddie snaps.

“Well, actually, it’s not that abnormal for that to happen, what with all the _pushing_ when you’re—“ Dan thinks he’s being helpful, he totally does. But Eddie does not feel all that bad when the guy’s head pops up again as he’s saying that, and he sees Eddie baring his teeth and looking like he might bite his head off, and he goes all red and shuts up. Not forever, though, thank God—he starts talking again after Eddie drops back against the mattress, each and every piece of his ribcage burning thanks to how hard he’s breathing. “Okay, okay—try not to strain yourself too much! You’re doing really good.” He runs out of the room again, this time to get more towels, and Eddie doesn’t feel like he can wait until Dan’s got all the pieces ready for this awful, stupid home delivery… thing. When that pain starts getting bad again, he heaves himself off the bed a little, curling forward and pushing with everything he’s got.

Dan comes back in and sees Eddie doing that, makes a garbled, live-chicken-in-a-blender sound and rushes over to him, collapsing by the bed and grabbing Eddie’s leg again. “Hey, hey! Take it easy! Deep breath—take a deep breath. Come on.” Grabbing him by the feet, Dan props Eddie’s legs up like he’s in those freaking stirrups again, coaching, “You don’t have to push constantly, okay? Take breaks. And give me a little more of your weight: you can put your feet against me for leverage, I _swear_ you’re not gonna knock me down.” Eddie’s not so sure about that, frankly, but he’s too far gone to care all too much. He just does his best to keep breathing this time as the pain swells up again, holding off a little longer with this contraction before clenching every muscle in his middle and pushing again. Dan gasps a little, propping one of Eddie’s feet up against his shoulder, still holding the other one as his free hand drops down between Eddie’s legs. “That’s great! Really great, Eddie. One more push. You’re so close!”

Fuck, Eddie hopes he’s right. He wants to cry, or get shot in the fucking head right about now. Not even because of how bad it hurts, because it _does_ hurt insanely bad, but he’s just so tired. Never been this tired in his life, and so much of him getting to be this tired happened when Dan was gone and he had nobody but Venom—who, yeah, tried to help in his weird, unsympathetic blob way, but it wasn’t enough to make Eddie feel like he was grounded, like his head was on straight. He wasn’t so sure he would get through this and honestly, _frankly_ , he’s so glad he’s got Dan here now. Maybe he’s crying right now—ope, oh. Yeah. Yeah, he is. He’s also about halfway towards seriously passing out, but he’s gonna deal with that later, that’s—that’s gonna be a ‘cross that bridge’ kind of issue.

**< He’s right, Eddie.> **Sounds like Venom’s murmuring, almost. It’s so weird, it’s not a thing Eddie ever thought he was gonna hear, even in their funny little brain-speak mode, but it’s also super nice. Suits Venom better than he probably knows. **< You are so very close.> **Eddie’s got no clue when Venom sunk back inside him, but he’s glad about that, too. Glad as he can be about anything at this exact, particular moment. And it more reassuring, when Venom’s murmuring something in the back of his head instead of hissing in his ear. Gentle—Eddie thinks he’s trying to be gentle. It’s nice, and it’s actually working pretty good.

This last cramp—God, _fuck,_ Eddie hopes it’s the last one—starts getting worse and worse, and Eddie’s feet scrabble against Dan’s scrubs and his hand, straining with every bit of his body as he propels himself up off the pillows yet again. He can’t really sit straight like he wants to, not with his gut in the way, but he tries to come close, toes curling and throat aching as he _screams_ , squeezing every inch of himself into the tightest little ball, and it’s enough—oh, _Christ_ , that did it. Something finally slides out—hopefully a kid and not just a giant wad of symbiote slime—and the pain’s starting to disappear. It feels bad, still, like he’s got the echoes of the pain, or some weird shit, some bizarre… _anti-pain_ wracking his whole body, but it’s better. So, _so_ much better.

Dan’s rustling around at the foot of the bed, and Eddie’s eyes take a while to listen to what he’s telling ‘em to do, but he manages to get ‘em to open enough to see as Dan’s wiping the last bits of black sludge off the kid’s face. Hey, it is a kid—it’s Pete! Well, he knew it was Peter, but _shit_. He’s so normal looking. Tiny—way too tiny to really justify how fucking huge Eddie got towards the end there, but he looks pretty good, as far as newborns go. They’re all kinda ratty and scrunched-up when they’re first born, if Eddie’s remembering correctly, so Pete’s still looking pretty damn good.

Dan’s ating like maybe he might cry, and Eddie might already be crying. Again. Laughing all weak and nervous, Dan puts Pete carefully on Eddie’s chest, mumbling, “You did so great, Eddie.”

“Thanks. Thank you, Dan.” Eddie sniffs. “For, like… p-pretty much everything.”

“I’m really proud of you,” says Dan, and Eddie feels so stupidly happy about that, it’s pretty easy to ignore the violent nausea Venom sends pulsing through him after hearing that.

“’M kinda prouda me too,” Eddie slurs, nodding dizzily. He is pretty proud that he managed to do all this, and to be not so much of a freaking dumpster fire that Dan actually found ways to like him back. That’s all pretty cool. Turning to look down at Pete, Eddie unwraps him from his baby-burrito a tiny bit. He looks like any other baby, pretty much, and if Eddie didn’t know for sure this was Pete—like, really him, made of certified Pete-parts—he really would have no clue he was anything special. Either way, even if he weren’t Pete, thinking about all the stuff he went through just to get him, Eddie’s got the funny feeling that he might be just as crazy about him if he was some random kid that happened to be his. “H-Hey, uhh…” Maybe this oughta be a thing he says in private, but there’s no fucking way Eddie’s asking Dan to leave after everything he just did. “Venom?”

Takes Venom longer to answer than usual, so Eddie just keeps talking.

“Thank you. For… For all of this. For doin’ it for me.”

There’s another pause, and this one’s like, crazy long. Eddie starts getting sorta red in the face, and Dan looks more than a little awkward, but then Venom finally says something. Real soft and quiet. Gentle, again. Eddie likes gentle Venom.

**< You are welcome, Eddie.> **

“Cool, cool.” Eddie chuckles, then frowns down at the kiddo. Pete’s—what’s in his mouth? There’s something in his mouth. He feels a prickle of sweat on his skin as he nervously, _painstakingly_ peels back one of Pete’s tiny, baby lips with his stupid, giant hand. Pete squirms and lets out this eensy baby bird noise, complaining, then yawns real big to show off two full rows of long, needle-sharp teeth.

**“My, my.”** Venom leers enthusiastically, slithering down Eddie’s forearm to study the kid fondly before he turns and beams at both him and Dan. **“What a beautiful smile.”**


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to my beta who helped me a ton with ideas for this chap and the final chap of my FMA fic. :)

“So, I’ve been meaning to ask.” Dan puts an arm around Eddie’s shoulder kinda slow and careful, like he’s not so sure they’re there yet in the whole relationship… scheme of things. Y’know, even though he delivered Eddie’s baby and had a three-way with his alien… Whatever Venom is.

**< I _know_ I did not just hear that. > **Ooh, okay. He didn’t like that. ** <You know exactly what we are.> **

Goo-buddies? Partners in crime? A man and his living, alien pacemaker who he kinda banged once?

**< Whatever. > **There’s this weird, psychic link version of a shrug. **< I’m not picky.>**

Takes a couple seconds too long for him to look up at Dan and, uh, reply, but Dan’s gotten pretty used to it, so he’s just sitting there patiently. “Y-Yeah?”

“Where’d you get the name Peter? You just…” Dan blushes, like he can’t believe how invasive he’s getting. Wow, he’s… so nice. It kinda throws Eddie for a loop. Eddie would’ve said probably about… thirty more offensive things and made ten more invasive requests five minutes into any given interview. “You seemed so sure about it.”

“Oh. Uh… That’s, uh, that’s… kind of a whole… story. A whole thing.” Eddie rocks back and forth a couple times, then leans back against the couch. And, uh, Dan’s arm, too, which is still there. “S-See, he’s… not really just a normal baby? I mean, obviously— _obviously_ he is some kinda part-symbiote alien child, but the whole reason I got knocked up at all was, uh…” This is harder to talk about than Eddie figured it’d be, because he still really misses Pete, and glad as he is to have the kid around, it doesn’t really feel like it’s _Pete_ yet, y’know? “My friend. He’s kinda my friend. I mean, _he was_ my friend. He… died. And Venom brought him back via the whole… weird pregnancy shitshow.”

**< Shitshow!?> **Boy, there’s just no telling what’ll set him off sometimes. **< I’ll have you know that process wouldn’t have been half as streamlined with anyone else overseeing it.>**

Whew, that’s… That’s a mental image, right there. Eddie almost gets caught up in picturing all the ways it could’ve been _nastier_ , but decides he doesn’t wanna torture himself right this second. “A-Anyway, I named him Peter, c-cause that was his name before. Peter Parker. Spidey.” That last bit slips out before Eddie thinks to stop it, like word vomit, but it’s way too late. Dan’s eyes go all big and his jaw gets slack. Shit. Well, at least Eddie knows Dan’s pretty decent with the whole ‘keeping a secret identity’ concept.

“Spidey? As in—as in, ‘ _Spider-man’?!”_ He jerks his head over to stare down the hall, like Peter’s gonna come waltzing out of his crib in full costume.

“Uh. Yep! That’s the guy.” Eddie kinda hides his grin behind one hand, watching Dan freak out.

“Spider-man. Our—uh— _your_ kid is Spider-man.” Oh, man. Dan’s probably really hoping Eddie didn’t catch that ‘our’, and he’s probably feeling like he way overstepped, so he’s not even gonna acknowledge it, but… Oof. Kinda made Eddie’s heart get all fluttery!

**< Oh, now you’re just _trying_ to make me vomit. > **

Eddie lets that one slide, nodding at Dan. “Sure is.”

“I mean, we shouldn’t assume he’s still going to be the same kind of person.” Dan slumps against the couch, like the weight of this whole revelation’s really getting to him. “Maybe… he isn’t gonna wanna be Spider-Man this time around! And that’s fine. I think we should support that decision. I mean, running around in spandex and trying to fight God knows what—“ He looks real pale, and then looks over towards Pete’s room again. “That’s a whole lot of responsibility.”

“Yeah, uhh… Raincheck.” Eddie pats Dan’s back soothingly when it looks like the guy’s veering towards a future parenting crisis. Besides, who said they’d even have to tell the kid about all that super-heroing business? “We’ll put a pin in that one.”

 

*

 

“Y’know, ‘s uhh, it’s not that bad. ‘S kinda nice, actually.” Peter, his ex-friend, formerly dead, and now not dead, and also his son, who is just a baby, is literally sucking on his chest right now. Drawing out some life-sustaining nutrients. It’s bat-shit. It’s totally fucking insane, and Eddie is surprised that he’s cool with it at all, never mind the level of coolness he has attained. Which is a lot. Like, there’s letting it happen and maybe thinking he might throw up after, and there’s just kinda accepting it and not minding all too much, and he is _alarmingly_ close to the latter.

“Yeah?” Dan’s staring, and he’s trying super hard to get himself to look up and act like he was not just staring very hard—even though Eddie gets it! He understands, honestly. He has huge tits now, and they’re way more womanly than he would’ve, like, _expected_ his own body to be capable of growing, and Dan’s clearly bisexual or something, some classification that definitely likes nice breasts. Just like Eddie, really, so Eddie gets it! It’s fine. It’s pretty polite that he acts like he’s not a deer caught in the headlights, honestly, so Eddie isn’t gonna point it out. Also because he’s not so sure he likes mentioning how weird his body’s still looking out loud. “That’s pretty good. I mean, really good. Breastmilk is the healthiest option.”

**< Tell him it is not breastmilk. It’s a completely unique nutrient slurry meant to support the one-of-a-kind immune system our precious little abomination has.> **

“Oh, shit.” Eddie stares at Dan bleakly. “I shouldn’t have let you suck on my—“

**< He’ll be fine,> **Venom assures him. **< Probably. Mm. Who knows, actually, but if he were going to die, then, logically, he would have done it by now, right?>**

“Ooh. Mm! Great.” Yeah, sure. Why not. That old Venom optimism. Eddie doesn’t wanna talk about Dan sucking on his tits whenever they fuck. Not in front of Venom, even though he’s kinda there for all of it, but also, not in front of Pete. ‘Cause, even though he’s a newborn and doesn’t have a brain that’s too good at understanding speech yet, it just seems sorta wrong. “Y-Yeah, it’s—y’know, I never, uhh, appreciated my… my, like—sweat? The level that I sweat before. But now, when I, like, leak through my shirts and whatever, you can’t really, like, notice anyway.”

“That’s—“ Thinning his lips together, Dan shrugs real jerky and stiff. “Mhmm! That’s grea—that’s goo…. That is. I’m—!” Dan just opens his mouth for a good ten seconds and nothing but wordless noises come out, and finally, he just settles on, “Cool!”

Holy shit. Dan’s so awkward. He is so, _so_ uncomfortable. So is Eddie, sure but Dan’s also normal and nice and good and Eddie just—just loves him a lot. So Eddie just kisses him out of nowhere, and doesn’t even try to pull away until Pete chomps down with his demon teeth and almost takes his nipple clean off.

  
*

 

“WHY IS HE UP THERE?” Eddie scrambles as he tries to keep himself positioned exactly where Pete is, but, like, a 180 reversal, because he’s still on the ground and Pete is… not there.

**< He is a reconstitution of your friend. The deceased friend. The one with _arachnid abilities. > _**

“He wasn’t _born_ w-with ‘em! I mean—shit! Maybe he was, I dunno!” Eddie guesses, even if he was, he sure couldn’t do anything with ‘em as a fucking baby! Raking his fingernails down his face, Eddie hesitates before pulling out all the big guns. He gets Venom to help him claw his way up onto the ceiling, reaching out one shivery and anxious hand towards Pete. “C-Come on! Cooooome on.”

**“Yes.”** Venom encases him the rest of the way, inching closer to the little guy. **“Come to mother.”**

<We are NOT his goddamn _mother_ , Venom! No! Absolutely freakin’ not.> Thank God Pete takes the bait, curling one chubby hand partway around one of Venom’s giant fingers. Together, he and Eddie both pull that warm, little body into their arms.

**“Your sensitivity regarding your species’ gender roles is…”** Pausing to chuckle deep and low, Venom shakes his head. **“Hi _larious.”_**

<Yeah, no. Fuck you. I always pictured myself as a dad. I’m gonna be a dad.>

Eddie’s not so sure if there’s something Venom’s been doing with Pete while he sleeps—like, he has no concrete proof, honestly, that it’s Venom’s doing, not counting what just happened—but he’s still a hundred and ten percent sure it’s Venom’s fault when Pete slaps one fat, ham hand on his cheek and proudly proclaims, “Ma!”

 

*

 

**“Who’s my precious little monstrosity?”** Venom flat-out coos, still in his monster voice, which Eddie guesses is… kinda the only voice he’s got, but still. It’s _crazy_ weird. Anyway, he starts lifting Pete up over his head, and the kid giggles.

Dan’s passed out on the couch, and Pete was just screwing around in his little baby-jail playpen thingy, still awake, like he was waiting for Eddie and Venom to get back from some early evening, kinda… murder –y and cannibalistic ‘heroics’. <Aw, now—c’mon! Don’t call ‘im that. He’s gonna start gettin’ the wrong idea about that word.>

**“It is an accurate statement, and I’m using it for endearment. Fuck off.”**

Venom pulls Pete close to his chest (and he gets to still have a muscular, normal, mannish-looking chest when they’re _both_ being Venom because, yeah, of course he does. Shit’s totally fair like that) and Pete curls up against it, not really minding that it’s all slick and oily and a weird texture. Then again, Pete’s grown up with it, so he’s totally used to it, probably, and even Dan doesn’t seem to mind all too much when they’re, y’know, getting kinda—like, getting’, uh, _bizzay—_

Pete beams, looking very proud of himself as he repeats, “Fugoff.”

<Hey! HEY! Whoa, whoa—do not teach him ‘fuck off’! Stop swearin’ in front ‘a him.>

**“First you throw a fit about the ‘mother’ thing, and now this. You’re lucky I’m so fond of you, because you are an _incredible_ pain in the ass.”**

Yeah, he says that all threateningly and pissy, but he doesn’t move a fuckin’ inch when Pete sticks his chubby fingers all up in his mouth without warning. Venom freezes completely, not so much as twitching in case one of his fangs happens to nick the kid. “Mama, du teef shawp.”

Maybe Eddie’s readin’ into it way too much, but then, Venom kinda starts peeling himself off of Eddie, maybe ‘cause he’s _that_ paranoid about hurting Pete. He’s probably just bored, or wanting to do some symbiosis hibernating before their next criminal-eating spree, but Eddie’s kinda hoping it’s the first thing. Pete makes a thoughtful noise, patting Eddie’s normalish human features and then honking his nose casually. Laughing tiredly, Eddie scrunches his face up. “H-Hey, Pete? Pete? You can’t—Don’t say ‘fuck.’” The kid’s super smart already! He’ll get what Eddie’s trying to tell him right away, and then he’ll listen to him, ‘cause he’s a real good kid on top of all that.

Pete gives him what’s probably the cutest grin Eddie’s ever seen in his life. It’s like a kick to the balls, but made out of pure adoration. “Fugck.”

“Ah.” Eddie does a shrill, wheezy giggle. “Ohhh boy.”

 

*

 

“Pete, uhh…” Dan just looks kinda shell-shocked when he comes in the door. Pete already ran ahead to get a jump-start on his homework, because he’s the kind of miniature lunatic who actually enjoys it, but Dan stayed right where he was, just… standing dumbly. “Pete diagnosed one of my patients.”

“Yeah?” Eddie saves his document and closes his laptop, leaning back in his chair as he looks up at Dan. “That’s, uhh, good. Right?”

“He did it in, like, two seconds.” He’s sounding sorta breathless, like he’s a million miles away right now, mentally. “With no medical training. After following me around for half a day.” Sounds like a pretty chill ‘Take your Kid to Work Day’, honestly. “Also, he’s _seven_.”

“S-So, that’s—It actually makes a lot of sense, honestly? What you just said?” Eddie coughs into his hand, trying to act all casual even though he’s super impressed, too, honestly. “’C-Cause Pete was—the old Pete, I mean, and also this one, too—an actual, confirmed genius.”

“Huh.” Dan nods dumbly, taking a second to process all that. And Eddie’s heart does this jumpy squeezy thing, jolting in his chest excitedly when Dan looks down the hall towards Peter’s room, like he’s super floored—no, not just _floored_ , but, like, completely smitten with the kid. “He sure is.”

 

*

 

“… And then, when I said ‘yes’, he took my milk and dumped it all out over my head.” Pete sniffles, wiping his nose and just staring at the ground like he’s too miserable to even talk.

“L-Look—Pete.” Damn it. Eddie knew Pete had to deal with a few asshole rich kids before, but it’s so different when he’s been raising Pete since he was tiny! Takes everything in Eddie not to wanna march down to the school and throw the freaking brat through a goddamn window. “I think you did the right thing. Just—Just try an’ ignore him, and stick with your friends, cuz they’ll have your back, and if things start gettin’ worse—“

**“We’ll devour him.”**

“SHIT!” Eddie jumps about a foot; guess he was way too distracted and pissed off over what Pete’s been telling him, because he didn’t even notice Venom do his talking head trick. He extends out from Eddie’s shoulder, spit glistening on his teeth. “No! No, no… J-Jesus! No. That’s—he’s still just… a kid! He’s Pete’s age. You can’t eat a grade schooler, all right? Not okay, even if they’re the fuckin’ antichrist.”

**“Agree to disagree. Besides, why don’t we ask Peter?”** Extending closer to the kid, Venom growls, **“You’d like us to scar this boy for life, wouldn’t you? Destroy his mind, slit his belly like a fat sow and feast on his warm, delicious innards while he’s still alive, watching, knowing only excruciating pain and terror in his final moments?”**

Pete gawks, shaking his head and mouthing no. After he clears his throat and takes a second to absorb that little speech, he gets that word out for real. “N-No! I mean… that’s way too much!” He pauses. “E-Except maybe the first thing. The, uhh, ‘scarring for life’ thing. That’d be okay. As long as he doesn’t get hurt.”

**“Understood.”** Venom leers wickedly.

“Whoa. No. No way. We are _not_ doing thi—“

That’s literally the last thing Eddie remembers for the rest of the day. He wakes up later with Pete frantically shaking his shoulder.

“Well, mom,” Pete says as he sits up, “There’s good news and bad news.”

The good news is that Pete’s bully has been acting like Pete took out a restraining order on him, and he’s acting like he thinks he’ll get shot in the face if he doesn’t obey it. The bad news is that there are about ten separate police reports, all coming from said bully’s neighborhood, describing a huge, jet-black creature breaking into windows and violently threatening kids who don’t respect their peers.

 

*

 

It’s Wednesday, and they’re finally sitting down to dinner. Pete’s back from his AP class, Dan got off early, and Eddie’s laptop is sitting on the coffee table, with the article he’s been picking at all day glaring at him on the screen. It’s the kinda day where he and Annie woulda made some really romantic, fancy meal, with white wine and a two hour prep time, or they woulda gone out to eat somewhere super high-end. Instead, he and Dan and the kiddo are making tater tots and those goofy dinosaur chicken nuggets, with the dumplings Dan got from that Chinese buffet on the way home. The apartment’s kind of a mess, too—not the grossest it’s ever been (and the grossness threshold went through the fuckin’ roof after Eddie moved in, so that’s saying something) but there’s still a lot of shit thrown everywhere. Feels good, though. All lived in and cozy.

And that’s when it sorta hits Eddie outta nowhere. That it’s been like this—his life’s been really _nice,_ and not hard, for such a long time now. It’s weird to think there was ever a period where he was kinda worried he might, like, _die_ from heart-failure, or from in-utero Pete clawin’ his way out like the chestburster. Even the more recent stuff, like Venom getting sorta jealous of Dan, or Eddie thinkin’ that maybe those people Pete used to pal around with might come harassing him over his, uhh—the _escapades_ he’s had all over San Francisco. The little stuff worked out, and so did all the big stuff.

Anyway, his point’s basically that there was a time where he never coulda pictured it being this nice, or easy. Never coulda pictured all of them having dinner together. Him talkin’ to Dan about his day and listening to his doctor jargon. Guy talks about stuff Eddie doesn’t really understand, but it’s also stuff he doesn’t _have_ to, ‘cause he just likes seeing Dan talk about it, and looking at the way he gets so excited about helping people. Even crabby old geezers who give him shit for basically saving their lives, he still just wants to do good by ‘em, and it’s literally the most amazing thing Eddie’s ever seen.

And Venom’s not even saying shit about that, about how he’s gonna, like, go against his basic biological functions and throw up from having to watch Eddie and Dan get super lovey-dovey. He’s just letting Pete go a mile a minute, too, talking on and on about his buds, filling out all the extra homework he _willingly_ asked for, dumping his extra tater tots into Venom’s mouth every time he eats a couple himself.

See, Eddie doesn’t even give a shit about how weird it is! That he’s got an alien goop buddy or possible platonic-romantic… partner, and that he’s almost married to his ex-fiancée’s ex, or that he’s literally somebody’s mom now. It doesn’t phase him anymore, one way or the other. His life is really nice right now, weird stuff and all, and it took a whole lot of bullshit and, like, seven hundred freak-outs and meltdowns to get here. (Mostly freak-outs from him, but Dan had a few, and he’s pretty sure Pete had at least, uhh… one? Two tantrums, maybe. He’s a really good kid, and he’s always been real mellow, so the number ain’t that high.)

So when it comes right down to it, Eddie’s lucky. And he’s happy. He’s both of those things, even when he kisses Dan and Venom horks up some half-melted tater tot mush onto the table.


End file.
